E3 Roundup Explosive Extraveganza! Gaming Remains Pretty Exciting

Over the past couple of months, I've had to take a bit of a break from gaming. My play sessions had been reduced to starting a game, poking around for about 10 minutes then quitting again. As bad as it is to admit this on my GAMES BLOG, I didn't miss it. I reacquainted myself with books, reading all of the 'A Song of Ice and Fire' novels (great!), caught up on television (not so great) and watched the sports season wind down (SPORTS!). It barely registered that the neon-lit, bass emitting monster of E3 was just around the corner...

Well the beast appeared, offended nearly everyone, offended everyone else, and left. The end result, I'm excited about Video Games again!

I would be dong a disservice to my loyal readers, all 11 of you, if I didn't extend a cursory nod of the head to the new consoles. One is $500 and has a camera that watches you all the time. The other is $400 and is essentially a shiner version of every single console ever made, and it has a share button! WHO ASKED FOR THAT?

Great, with that sorted, onto my picks for the games I can't wait to play over the next few years!


The Just Do What You Did Last Time Only Shinier Award: Dark Souls 2!

The music in this trailer is as horrendous as discovering mystery blood on the back of your pants. In no way does it accompany what is happening on screen but I don't care! I heart Dark Souls, almost as much as my family, maybe more. More Dark Souls!

The If Money Were No Object Award: EVR!

Spaceships, and lasers, and fancy VR goggles! All three are real, two go directly in my eyes, and I only want one of them. What a showcase for the Oculus Rift. A pair is not in my future and my space dollars went to Chris Roberts, but this was quietly the biggest jump in technology we've seen in gaming for ages. Commander Hadfield for Prime Minister!

The Polished Rip-Off Award: Tom Clancy's The Division!

Seriously though, this looks like a slicker version of Dayz... and there is nothing wrong with that! There is just something about wrecked urban environments that lend itself to the post apocalypse. Lookin' good! Just stop besmirching Tom Clancy's name, he hasn't written a book since the Cold War.  

The You Blew This Once Already But I'm Giving You the Benefit of the Doubt Award: Dragon Age Inquisition!

Bioware, please make this good. Thanks! 

P.S. Show some gameplay.

P.P.S. Thanks for giving Morrigan a shirt.

The Can They Actually Pull Off What They're Promising? Award: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt!

Oh CD Projekt Red, how ever is this going to work? You are certainly going to need all of that optimism Eastern European games are known for in order to create an open world, RPG that looks this good and plays well. I have no reason to doubt them, I've loved both Witcher games and the second was a huge improvement on the first. You can do it!

The You Guys Are On Really Thin Ice Award: Thief! (4)! 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why can't it just all be good. 

I loved: seeing your hands, the movement looks super slick, rope arrows, open levels. 

BAD BAD BAD: take downs, slow motion, no Benny, and not a single taffer uttered. 

They did a great job redoing Deus Ex, there's no reason this can't be good too, right? Guys? SO STRESSFUL.  

The I Hope You Learned Your Lesson Award: Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag! 

Assassin's Creed 3 was so bad,  but it introduced ships, so all is forgiven! The thought of an open world, 17th century pirate simulator has me salivating like I'm about to eat the piece of Wagyu Beef I had for dinner last night all over again (thanks Joel!). 

The I've Already Played It and Know It's Going to Be Good Award: Arma3

I bought into the Alpha as soon as it was available and have been loving nearly every minute of it. It's a big jump for the series and looks every bit as gorgeous as it does in this trailer. If you have even a passing interest in playing solider, pick this up while it's still relatively cheap! Stay tuned for more fully cooked thoughts!

The I Slipped Console Game in at the End in the Hopes You Haven't Got This Far, But I Fing Love Metal Gear Solid and Can't Deny it Award: Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain!

Snaaaake! I thought I'd kept up to date on the series, but I literally have no idea what is going on here. Was Ground Zeroes that important? Welp, Metal Gear Solid Legacy Collection here I come.  

So there it is, the year of the semi-colon. Does anybody around here have any original ideas!?! If I missed something you loved, let me know in the comments.